Homelessness

I honestly thought being homeless meant living in a hostel with users and abusers. That it would all be shouting, screaming, stealing and general chaos but it really wasn't. We stayed in a guest house for the first 5 nights where it was just Mark and I as guests. Apart from the cold we had no real problems at all, apart from the slightest little thing making me cry.

From there we have moved into a flat in foxbar. It's alright, apart from being so out of the way. You have like a mile walk to get to the nearest bus stop into linwood, or a 4mile walk if like me your skint.

We've just been offered a flat in Linwood but it won't be ready to view until the 15th of April. We're fine where we are until then.

I've been quite down of late, probably a lot to do with circumstance and knowing that doesn't make it any better. I miss noise, I miss the caper of mums house. Don't get me wrong I love Mark and having so much time to spend with him its just different. I am of no use what so ever at the moment. If I'm not crying I'm in bed either sleeping or pretending to be asleep so I don't have to face anyone. I don't want anyone to see me just now. I have loads that I should be happy about, and I feel stupid for getting so upset all the time but it's like I have no control over it. Everything seems to be in slow motion, nothing is going anywhere fast and when I wake up in the mornings I can't wait until night time when I can slip back into bed. None of this is fair on Mark. He gets no sense out of me, he keeps asking what's wrong and I can't tell him. And here's the best part, tomorrow I get to wake up and feel like this all over again... can hardly wait!!