wedding woe

Why is this wedding causing so much misery? Surely it can't be normal.  I should be in bed, fast asleep, getting my 8 hours and keeping my skin and body all fresh for the big day (who wants a plukey bride with dark circles). However, this is now the 12th night in a row that I can't sleep.

All I want is to get married.  To publicly declare in front of my friends and family that Mr Mark Lingard is the man that completes me, who I love so much I would lay down my very life for.  Yet the way this wedding is going you'd think I was inviting everyone to a mass suicide or running round with a guest list people are mistaking for a hit list and fear I'm about to knock on their door and shoot them. Yes only 10 of Mark's guests are coming, his 'rents, siblings, best man plus one and his pals kirk and his partner (who actually thinking about it haven't confirmed) which leaves me feeling really rotten for him. Their excuse, they can't afford it... well we offered free accommodation, to pick people up even if that meant driving through the night and by the way they all knew about this wedding since aug 2009!

I started planning this wedding the minute I called Lisa to tell her I had just got engaged.. the actual date was the 27th of May 2009.. but if my dad asks, it was the 23rd of June because that's when Mark asked his permission and I was allowed to wear my ring.  Everything was going so smoothly, with all that time I had hoped that by now, with just over seven weeks to go, I'd be sat back, chilled out and stress free right up until the night before when the jitters about being the focal point of 80+guests would have eventually kicked in.

I thought I had it bad when Mark's mum wanted me to magically produce 10 ties and 2 sashes from the left overs of 3 bridesmaids dresses, the same left overs that were to provide the ribbon for three bridesmaids bouquets and possibly some trimming for the cake.  I thought the world had come to an end the next day when Cooper that lovable little scamp of a dog cocked his leg over my evening invites that I had literally just made the night before.  When we thought Karen and my Mum were turning up in the same colours my mum near had a nervous break down and in turn I nearly had a heart attack with all the drama.  When I had to tell a friend that he could not come, my heart broke a little and I had to deal with guilt over and above all that.

You'd think that would be enough but apparently not.  I think the big man is trying to tell me it's time to go home! Either that or someone is about to jump out with a camera and tell me I've been punked because it really, really is less than amusing now! My bridesmaids dresses, 2 of them won't be here until the 22nd of March, which leaves 3 days for fittings ... which my dressmaker has already told me she probably will not be able to do the third..... 5th of April.. that is exactly 10 days AFTER the wedding. What sodding good is that to me? Now had it been baby beast's dress that was going to arrive late that would have been a much smaller issue, I could have picked her a dress up or had her one made by amanda in the same colour but different style as she's the chief bridesmaid..... but I'm just not that lucky!

Oh and the cherry on the cake... because Mark and I were born after 1983 we have to provide both birth certificates AND passports to prove we are British and can be married here in accordance with all the laws and other mumble jumble... we have both birth certificates and my passport but Mark's has gone AWOL.  He thinks he might have left it in Liverpool on his stag night. Fanfriggintastic! So if we don't find it sharpish, or get him a replacement like last week we won't be getting married at all!!!!

I'm now at the point where I am seriously and I mean SERIOUSLY considering taking the 50% we can get back off all our bookings and just going to gretna green with Mark when we find his passport and pulling two witnesses off the street and doing it that way.  It's been hell from the start and I have seven more weeks of this bollocks (excuse me) to put up with! I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!! From being told the cars I wanted weren't "weddingy" enough, the first venue was apparently a dive, my initial idea for bridesmaids dresses weren't classy enough, my flowers were too plain, the church was a rubbish location...... I'm sick of it all. Perhaps this is what's meant to happen, cause lets be really honest, I am not going to do that dress any justice anyways, I'm not elegant enough, tall enough or pretty enough to do it any favours and I'm certainly not wife material, just a random fool who loves her man but can't sufficiently plan a wedding... doesn't say much for me at all now does it!